This week has been one of the tougher weeks as a parent. It’s been one of those weeks when you keep looking back at the clock, counting down the minutes, waiting for the day to end. One when you sit your daughter in a heap of toys and crumble in the corner wallowing in sadness. And one when you start to doubt your parenting abilities and whether being a stay-at-home mom is the fit for you.
I can’t really explain these thoughts and emotions. There doesn’t seem to be any real reason behind them – except for maybe we are going through a change. Life is fluid and nothing remains static, and it seems that once Berlin hit her year mark, she started metamorphosing. It’s only been weeks since her birthday, but so much has already changed.
Where as she was once sleeping consistently through the night (at least for a little while), she suddenly awakes at 5AM every morning, screaming and demanding to be nursed. Her naps, (which have always been my saving grace) were consistent at 9AM and 1PM and lasting up to two hours each, are suddenly no longer. Now each nap is instantly a battle, either screaming bloody murder or sitting her crib and babbling for the entire hour.
Then, as if that wasn’t enough, all at once she stopped eating. My daughter, who will eat anything from chicken liver to kale, is suddenly pushing away whatever I put in front of her.
She has become whiny, fussy, clingy: all of the things she previously was not.
I spent hours googling everything from sleep regression to wonder weeks, attempting to come up with a solution. I called all my more experienced mommy friends requesting advice, and sifted through all my parenting books (the ones I thought I no longer needed).
But as of this morning, I’ve come to peace with these changes. Sure, I may not be getting much sleep (but what is new), and I may have an irritable baby on my hands for a few days (or weeks), but we will get through it – just like we got through the first year. In the meantime, I’m going to take this weekend for myself, and let my husband take over, while I work on recharging my own battery.
Tomorrow- who knows- but isn’t that the fun of it all?